Mother, May I . . . ?

The Friday before Mother’s Day, I bounded into my son’s daycare to drop him off and to scoop up a blueberry muffin in honor of Muffins for Moms, then I sped down Rock Creek Parkway for another amazing retreat hosted by my business coach, Randi Braun. I didn’t have time to eat the muffin in the car, so I wolfed it down while networking with some of the other attendees and found myself satiated by both the pastry and the conversation. These bright, spirited women and I talked about what we do to refill our proverbial cups and the excuses we make for not doing so. 

“It’s too indulgent,” one said. 

“I feel guilty, especially as a mom,” another said.

“Self-care is one more thing to do,” lamented another. 

I didn’t disagree with any of them, but I fell into the self-discipline trap: “If I could only get X, Y, and Z done, then I can take care of myself.” Self-discipline as self-denial, that is.

At the very end of the retreat—after we’d had great discussions, done yoga, had a delicious lunch with flights of wine and decadent desserts—I realized that I wasn’t just trying to check off boxes of productivity in order to justify getting a massage: I was looking for permission to live the life I want. 

It was as if my subconscious had been asking, “May I work closely with just a few people and do speaking engagements and be on private company boards, and still do Pilates?”

But who would grant me that permission? I asked myself. 

No one but me. 

I share this intimate thought with you to invite you to ask yourself: “What am I waiting for permission to do?”

Have you wanted to start doing deals on your own, but haven’t left the comforts of your full-time job yet? 

Feeling ready to raise your first fund, but keep finding yourself stuck as to what your next move should be? 

Do you know a great associate or VP you want to hire, but feel you can’t promise them anything? 

What are you waiting for? 

At the end of the retreat, we closed with wishes for others and then for ourselves. I’ll wish for you what I wished for then: 

“May you always grant yourself the permission to live the life you want. May I always grant myself the permission to live the life I want.”